tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4283072392763163737.post1547628864682056639..comments2024-02-27T12:41:35.811-08:00Comments on Coming to Terms...: BackslidingLisa :-]http://www.blogger.com/profile/02237889098638895390noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4283072392763163737.post-39636709328812881032011-08-02T10:52:59.295-07:002011-08-02T10:52:59.295-07:00And neither of you really has a family safety net ...And neither of you really has a family safety net in the neighborhood do you? <br /><br />And having spent five years pushing the cafe uphill I'm betting that your friends on the net are the closest shoulders to lean on. There's not a lot I can say except that I'm a really good listener even if I'm a lousy letter writer. Just sent some candles up your way and there's always one in the window.JACKIEhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11883028058826030899noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4283072392763163737.post-39618286328167679602011-08-02T07:49:20.768-07:002011-08-02T07:49:20.768-07:00You're right, Stacy...it is hard to say whethe...You're right, Stacy...it is hard to say whether we are getting reality checks or just accepting less than we deserve/need. <br /><br />Twenty years ago, I would probably have been ready to upsticks and get out of my marriage if it looked like it does now. But with a few more years and life lessons under my belt, I've determined that my best chance for happiness lies with this man with whom I have shared almost two-thirds of my years on the planet. I certainly would not choose to go looking for another partner, and I don't think I would be happier alone.Lisa :-]https://www.blogger.com/profile/02237889098638895390noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4283072392763163737.post-19736739645006167632011-08-02T06:30:31.643-07:002011-08-02T06:30:31.643-07:00Hi Lisa, I was speaking in general terms about &qu...Hi Lisa, I was speaking in general terms about "unhappy marriages" having had a recent conversation with a friend about midlife marriage in general and how many people we know who are truly unhappy in them. It's hard to determine the difference between unrealistic expectations and selling yourself short in terms of love and intimacy.Stacyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02521504653710527863noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4283072392763163737.post-13403374557866463902011-08-02T05:29:57.445-07:002011-08-02T05:29:57.445-07:00Lisa, I feel so much connection to what you are sa...Lisa, I feel so much connection to what you are saying here. If I start "talking" about it...I could probably go on for hours. What I want to do is try and comment without making it all about me.<br /><br />You and I have both been through a lot in the last five years and neither of us are sitting where we thought (or hoped) we'd be today. We both are in long term marriages that could be better but also could be much much worse. Life, by our own choices, has put us through a wringer.<br /><br />I think a big part of this is dealing with disillusionment. We're solidly in midlife and things just haven't worked out as we'd expected...and it's not for lack of hard work and planning. It's hard to know which path to take and where to put the emotion and energy now. <br /><br />If you're feeling like I am you have a general vision of where you'd like to be in the next five years. But the disillusionment clouds the path. Personally, I have not felt this hopeless about my future EVER in my life. I think we're grabbing at straws to ensure things are good from here on out. But we've learned, it's oh so easy to grab the wrong one.<br /><br />You're inspiring me to attempt a blog post.<br />:)<br /><br />{{{{{{{LISA}}}}}}}sunflowerkat https://www.blogger.com/profile/11643564072168293568noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4283072392763163737.post-58814860020915534862011-08-01T22:16:39.324-07:002011-08-01T22:16:39.324-07:00Stacy--I don't know that I would describe my m...Stacy--I don't know that I would describe my marriage as "very unhappy." For the most part, we've done okay. Sometimes it's marvelous, sometimes we are just making it through the days. How could it be otherwise, given the 35 years we've been together?<br /><br />Still, right now, my marriage doesn't resemble anything I ever wanted it to be or expected it to be...but I'm pretty sure this is a combination of my expectations being a tad unrealistic, and the fact that we're just going through a really rough time right now. <br /><br />I expect things to get better; but I'm beginning to realize this is going to take more than whining and wishful thinking on my part...Lisa :-]https://www.blogger.com/profile/02237889098638895390noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4283072392763163737.post-62900371606370341482011-08-01T21:44:12.420-07:002011-08-01T21:44:12.420-07:00I can fully relate to this situation. It's a ...I can fully relate to this situation. It's a difficult one that I find leads to a certain sense of paralysis, given the choice between reluctant resignation and walking away to to an unknown future. I know of many women who are facing midlife in very unhappy marriages where there is little love, affection or respect left. Homes where they simply have learned to co-exist.... to settle for the 2nd income and someone to mow the lawn... never happy with the situation.. but not unhappy enough to pursue the complete dismantling of a life that has been years in the making.Stacyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02521504653710527863noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4283072392763163737.post-82309531109907996142011-08-01T19:05:48.349-07:002011-08-01T19:05:48.349-07:00Good luck on your path.
I am not wise enough to g...Good luck on your path.<br /><br />I am not wise enough to give advice on this, but you seem to see clearly.<br /><br />VirginiaVirginiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04451139904242764009noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4283072392763163737.post-60599272350844470912011-08-01T09:12:47.380-07:002011-08-01T09:12:47.380-07:00((Lisa))((Lisa))Terrihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15667178624061122421noreply@blogger.com