tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4283072392763163737.post8685218897288917780..comments2024-02-27T12:41:35.811-08:00Comments on Coming to Terms...: BackLisa :-]http://www.blogger.com/profile/02237889098638895390noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4283072392763163737.post-20610633427757696412012-02-13T14:57:13.917-08:002012-02-13T14:57:13.917-08:00As Kat says - you have friends here. And today I p...As Kat says - you have friends here. And today I posted my intention to spend some real and good time reading my friends' blogs with faithful regularity. Both to get back in touch with all of you, and to try to inspire my own blogging, even if it's also what the world is pleased to call whining. So, I'm here, I'm listening - and I'll try to stick around. I'd like to ask you to do the same for me - how bout it?marigolds2https://www.blogger.com/profile/07683286608066261340noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4283072392763163737.post-5498246546246659682012-02-10T08:05:31.091-08:002012-02-10T08:05:31.091-08:00One thing I've learned through my own personal...One thing I've learned through my own personal conflicts is that (unfortunately) the spouse is NOT the person equipped to serve as a sounding board as we sort this crap out. They're too close to it and it has too much potential to throw a curve into their lives. That or they write it off as "It's just her being her...again." Excuse me if I'm a little cynical about this.<br /><br />I'm glad you're committed to writing and I hope it will help to just say whatever comes and have confidence that we're listening. I wish I could make myself get back to it but I'm stuck in that "fear of whining" place. Though everyone does have their own issues, friends WILL listen to yours as long as you need them...even when it's tedious. You have friends here.sunflowerkat https://www.blogger.com/profile/11643564072168293568noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4283072392763163737.post-2119381357356942102012-02-08T15:25:50.499-08:002012-02-08T15:25:50.499-08:00Here's my take on things: we're taught to...Here's my take on things: we're taught to look outside ourselves for answers, for saving. At least that's what I was taught from the time I was born. We're taught or told that it's important to have lots of people around--what for, I'm not really sure--but we're constantly encouraged to surround ourselves with other people. And those of us who know better, do not find solace in other people and we get mad at ourselves or sad when we feel like we are always on the outside looking in. It's self defeating and the outcome never changes (at least not for me). It feels sort of hopeless.<br /><br />But then I figured out that we've all been lied to. The answers we seek are not outside ourselves, they're within. Everything we need is inside us. I found a way to still my mind and live in the moment. And I trained myself not to feel fear (you talk about it in your post above). It took me about three years, but I rarely feel that incapacitating fear I lived with constantly (that I believe we are conditioned to feel because it is a form of control). As soon as I feel it creeping up on me, I can stop it. I remember that in this moment, I am enough, that I have enough and fear disappears. We tend to think we cannot control our feelings but we can. It just takes lots of work.<br /><br />I used to worry that I was not doing enough, that I have not lived up to potential, but that's just my ego beating me up and I try not to let my ego shape the way I feel or live my life. I focus on doing the things I AM doing very well, and with joy and peace. <br /><br />I think you're just smarter than everyone in figuring out that peace can be found when you're alone. Most people cannot stand the silence. I find peace in the silence so I know I'm on the right track.<br /><br />Wishing you well.<br /><br />KarenKarenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14760146591305762959noreply@blogger.com