Tuesday, August 16, 2005

More Doors

Last week, I saw a girl who used to work for me, back in the nineties. She was the first of my "crew" who really was young enough to be my daughter. She was seventeen…I was thirty-seven. The first time in my life that I didn’t just FEEL old. I WAS old.

She showed up at the festival Thursday morning with her four-year-old and two-year-old in tow. Full of news of her little family, and of the other girls of the crew. She mentioned casually that she had turned thirty…and I shared that I had just celebrated my big 5-0. I realized that what sucks about being fifty is that, twenty years ago, I was thirty. Already old. Twenty years ago.

I used to hear from my girls several times a year. Then, it was just Christmas and special occasions. It has deteriorated to one time a year, when I am doing the festival and they know where to find me. Each time, there is less to say. Less to share to which the other person could relate. I brought up my blog…to which she asked with a bemused smile, "What’s a blog?" Finally, we have migrated to totally different worlds. I felt that door closing…

…And another opening. Today, my email had a message from someone I had never heard of, through "Classmates.com." In five years, the only people who have contacted me through "Classmates" have been looking for the other Baldwins in the yearbook. I could have deleted the email. Was about to, in fact. But I changed my mind and clicked on the link that took me to the message. Turns out it was from a friend from the old neighborhood—one of my bridesmaids, no less. Someone who I had wished to find, found me. I wrote back. Opening the door to a world of memories fifteen, twenty years older than the ones I closed the book on a couple of days ago. The world turns, the clock turns, sometimes forward, sometimes back. Sometimes both directions at once.

12 comments:

  1. Oh that's wonderful that you've reconnected with an old friend!  Here's hoping you have a lot to catch up on and that you can stay connected from here on out!  Best wishes.......Lisa

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  2. That's great. It's wonderful that she took the time and made tthe effort to find you. I hope she's full of good news.

    Jackie

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  3. A few years ago, an old friend from high school contacted me through classmates.com, and we corresponded for awhile.  The reconnection was brief but powerful for me.  Renee' was the spark that got me writing poetry again.

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  4. That is wonderful.  Several months ago I decided to try and repair some damage from 20 years ago, paid the damn 39 bucks and got a message to my old buddy from Louisville and college. I think she deleted the email wioutout reading it. Not certain if it somes up "classmates.com" and you think it is some span. Anyway, it hurt pretty bad. She was Bridget's evil Stepmother..lol. Glad you decided to open that email.

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  5. Brother, can I relate to this entry! lol

    I hear every word you are saying!!

    Jackie

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  6. I know what you mean, time flies way too fast. Don't feel bad about the Classmates thing. I'm not sure many really pay for the subscription part.

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  7. I can relate. Every time I look at my kids, I feel so ancient. The other one is taller than I am. I also feel very old when I see their old friends and classmates and they look so grown up. I feel younger though when I see some of their friends and classmates' mothers whose posteriors got larger than mine. LOL.

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  8. What a great story.  I'm so glad you've found each other again!!!

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  9. congrats on making top pick

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  10. That's so cool!  I have found a few of my h.s. classmates through classmates.com.  In order to send an e-mail to someone from that site, you have to pay money, I think.  So your friend must have been motivated to get in touch!

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  11. Don't I know it! Fifty-three hit pretty hard this month! When I see people that I went to high school with in the mall, I stop and wonder if I really look that old.
    Trouble is. I don't "feel" old.  Although I have worked to gain an Executive status, I am still just " one of the girls" and feel weird when I am in conversation with the young Moms that are going through what I went through bringing up kids, ect.
    I try not to start every single conversation with them with "At the risk of sounding like my Grandmother" , but sometimes it just happens!  One of my passions these days is serving as the board chair for the Alzheimer's Association and on the board of govenors at the state level. That seems to create a common denominator and bridge the gap between young and old. Although the older generation worries more about the disease, the younger crowds are the care givers so it works out.
    We are all in it together.  Also, working in Senior care has given me the opportunity to meet tons of 70 - 80 year olds that are full of life!

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  12. That is SO cool that someone came looking for you!

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