Remeber Ten Things?

Feeling a little cranky these days (ya think?) Summer is the absolute worst time of the year to live in a suburban neighborhood.  Now I know why folks go on vacation.  It's not to take a break from their jobs.  It's to get away from their neighbors.  So just for grins, let's compose a "ten things" about neighborhood living.   

Ten Things to Hate About Living in a Suburban Neighborhood

1    1.)Power washers—people will power wash anything: driveways, fences, decks, siding—usually starting at some ungodly hour in the morning, and droning on for H.O.U.R.S.

2   2.)Gas-Powered leaf blowers—the most ubiquitous form of traffic in neighborhoods is landscape maintenance trucks.  And every one of those million landscape trucks contains at least two gas-powered leaf blowers, often hauled out at the same time, for double the decibels.

3.  3.)Chain saws—someone always needs to cut down or trim a tree—at 7 am on a Sunday morning.

4   4.) The Fourth of July—Don’t get me started.

5   5.) Neighbors—Doers of all the above dastardly deeds.

6   6.) Neighbors’ dogs—barking at nothing, for hours.  Doing their business in neighbors’ yards. Declared by the owner to be “friendly” while foaming at the mouth, straining at the leash, obviously on the attack.

7   7.) On-street parking—Every house on the block has a double-wide, sometimes triple-wide, driveway.  Appearing as bleached concrete “moats” between the houses and the street, because , evidently, the street is where one parks cars.  Preferably not in front of one’s own home.

8   8.) Lawn maintenance…or not—None of the front yards on this block is larger than about 2000 square feet.  Not huge.  What is so hard about cutting the grass before it gets a foot high?

9   9.) Night marauders—the human kind.—Nothing is safe in your front yard or not locked up at night.  Things will disappear.  And cars parked on the street will be vandalized.  For no apparent reason, just for kicks. (Which leads one to wonder about the wisdom of the “park your car on the street” fetish…)

1   10.)Neighbors—Once again, those humans on the other side of the six-foot fences who believe the entire neighborhood exists for their pleasure and convenience.  Everyone else be damned.