Friday, March 4, 2005

Moving On



I fired my sisters yesterday.
When the husband and I first made the grand leap into entrepreneurialism, we were in way over our heads, and I knew it. Back in the first couple of years, husband was an unreliable "employee." He pushed me into this thing, and then backed off and said, "Go for it." We had some rip-roaring fights about what exactly he wanted as far as involvement in this venture.
But I had always had this dream that, if I started a business, part of the motivation behind it was that it be a resource for any family member who might find herself in financial difficulty. "If you need an income, come work for me, and I’ll keep you on your feet." At the time Café de la Rue first started rolling, two of my sisters were unemployed and struggling to make ends meet. I felt good about asking them to work for me…it was kind of a symbiotic relationship. They needed money, and I needed a work force. I didn’t feel like I was going to them begging for their help.
For the first couple of years, it worked out okay. Even though our family was only firing on about two cylinders, we made it happen. Working for ten or twelve hours at a stretch, elbow to elbow in an 8’ x 20’ trailer, we were able to let go of a lot of the hurts and resentments that had cropped up after our dad passed away. We put those things on a back burner, and actually started to like each other again. I honestly don’t know if I ever would have reconciled with my sisters if we hadn’t had Café de la Rue to bring us together. For that, I am very grateful.
Of course, nothing is forever. The struggling sisters have since found new careers, and are happy and busy with their own lives. Counting on them became more and more problematic as they no longer needed the money they made working for me. I was put in the position of having to beg them to help me, and having them think nothing of backing out on me at the last minute. I don’t know, maybe they were still willing to help, out of the goodness of their hearts, but I just couldn’t be in that position. Independence has always been the holy grail for my family…when I was very young, my parents spoke reverently of how they had bought their first home all by themselves, with no help from their parents or families. That must have made a huge impression on me, because now, Isimply cannot be dependent on anyone…especially not my family.
Fortunately, the reluctant husband has decided to throw in his oar with the business. And we’ve realized that there are only one or two events that we do each year that are too busy for just the two of us, or even myself alone, to handle. And, in fact, paying sisters to stand behind the counter, just for the moral support, was not something we could afford to do any longer if we really wanted to make a go of this.
So between all of that, and some recent revelations I have had about the true state of my relationship with my sisters, I made the decision to send out this email yesterday:
…You guys all have busy lives and plenty to do, and I don't feel comfortable asking you to drop everything and come work for me anymore...

Your help during the past three years has been more than appreciated, but it's time for the little bird to fly on her own! Thanks, guys.
I hit "send," and quite unexpectedly, the tears puddled up and overflowed.

16 comments:

  1. That was a huge step, that carried alot of the past with it.   If determination, ambition and strength are what it takes to make it, YOU will definitely find success.

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  2. Lisa, this was big. Some tears were to be expected.  It was both a smart personal and professional decision.  You really are moving on.

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  3. Aw.  The email doesn't sound like you're firing them at all.  It just sounds like you're asserting a little independence.  Well done.  :)

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  4. I think you put it very nicely. Let us know the results.

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  5. I think you put it beautifully.  It sounds like you have everyone's best interests at heart.  I hope they take it in the spirit that it is intended.  Tears are natural at a time like this.

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  6. Lisa,

    Wow!  Sounds like a big step. I hope it all goes well.  I hope you let us know how they respond.

    dave
    http://journals.aol.com/ibspiccoli4life/RandomThoughtsfromaProgressiveMi

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  7. It is an emotional moment for you. I hope your sisters took it well. I also started a business with my hubby and it did not do very well so we both went out and got jobs. We still have a portion of it but we do not rely on it for our living expenses anymore.

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  8. They're probably breathing a sigh of relief and your email was a kind message that really made it sound like you were sorry, but you HAVE to do this on your own.  It takes a lot of gumption to run your own business and I am sure you are going to be successful, so hang tough and amaze yourself!  Lisa

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  9. Big step-you go girl! :-)

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  10. It's hard to let go sometimes, even when it's the right thing to do. Please let us know how your sisters respond.

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  11. Well, I think you did the right thing and I think the note was very gracious.

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  12. Nothing is more frustrating than relying on unreliable people.  This act shows independence and I admire it.  Have you thought about who will replace them,  Some seasonal hard working college nerds or something?  If I were closer to you, I would work the summers with you, just for the atmosphere, free food, and a thank you.  Good luck.

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  13. OH>>>>this ended so much differently than I expected.  You tugged at my heart and made me catch my breath.


    xxoo

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  14. Aw...but surely there was a part of you that felt damn good about it. Because it also means that you are flying!!! :-) ---Robbie

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  15. I'm crying too.........

    There is something about the relationship between sisters...no matter how difficult that women somehow need so badly that when facing life without sisters....we seek out female friends to call 'sister'.

    It had to be hard on you to make this decision......still it sounds like the right one.

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  16. Awww ... so lucky that you have each other, fired or not!
                               *** Coy ***



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