Wednesday, September 6, 2006

Checking In

Please, not another entry about how busy I am and how I never get anything done….how my house, my yard, my car, my everything is a mess. I know I’m in a period of great transition. I know that there will come a time when order is restored, albeit an order much altered from what it was before. I will learn to make little half-hours worth of housework really count…and I will learn to, shall we say, set my standards for orderliness a little lower? Part of the process is to take to heart my mother’s most famous words of wisdom: "If you don’t make a mess, you won’t have to clean it up." For the past several years, we’ve been able to let that advice fall by the wayside a little, since I was always around to DO the cleaning up. Now…well, we’re going to have to adopt a few minor changes of habit. Like not hanging our clothes on the bedroom floor at the end of the day. Stuff like that…

Today is my "day off." Of course, I have already been to the café, spent some time baking, eating breakfast, in general letting the staff know that they are never really on their own. At some point, I will have a staff that I can trust to run the place when I’m not there. And it’s not that they steal, or particularly goof off, or don’t wait on the customers when I’m absent. It’s just that it’s been like pulling teeth to get them to do certain things MY way. I haven’t made any huge changes, but the things I have changed have been important. Unfortunately, the staff would have preferred not to change at all. So as soon as I leave, they start doing things their own way again. Without batting an eyelash. Certain that "their" way is the right way, and I have no idea what I’m taking about. Annoying in the extreme.

But, like a lot of other little annoyances, I’m learning to live with them, and choose my battles. I settle for no less than complete victory on the battles I choose…though admittedly, it may take several skirmishes to make the victory stick. Progress is being made. When I start feeling overwhelmed, awash in the challenges and responsibilities, I look back two months, or even two weeks. And I see that things have changed…that I have grown and accomplished much. And that there is a lot more yet to accomplish. But it gives me hope when I look at where I was, and compare it to where I am now.

Currently, I’msitting out on my deck, trying to squeeze in a few moments of enjoyment of my flowers and plants before the cold weather sets in. It’s about ninety degrees, so that eventuality seems particularly remote today. But, as the calendar has flipped over to month number nine, I know the cold weather will be making its appearance, rather sooner than later. So I have stuffed the seed sock, and I am sitting here ticky-ticketying away to the accompaniment of the soft chatter of the goldfinches jockeying for prime position on the feed bag. I could watch them for hours…

But, as usual, I only have a few minutes. In a short time, I’ll be meeting the husband at his real job, from where we will strike out on a purchasing odyssey for the restaurant. And, hopefully, sneak in a bite at one of our old haunts. The places we used to go when we used to have…oh, never mind. You don’t want to hear it. Anyway, that’s what passes for a night out around here, these days.

As I look at the monitor on my laptop, it looks slightly faded…a result of the fact that the battery is down to about 62%. And I realize that it is very much a metaphor for myself. I’m most definitely running on about 62% power…maybe less. And the view through my eyes looks a lot like that slightly fading LCD monitor. I wonder…will I ever get back to 100% charged? Where IS my power cord… ?


  1. Does your power cord come with a solar battery? I wish mine did.


  2. Energy begets energy, Lisa, and though you're worn out now, I'll bet you're doing more than you thought you could awhile ago.  You'll recharge,  I promise.  Enjoy your moments of leisure.  In some ways, you have a new gift because those moments are precious to you now.  Love to you girl.

  3. my sweet Lisa :] ....   We ARE living in a paralell (sp?) (you know, the same kinda place-you KNOW I can't spell worth a damn and I see that AOL lost that comment spell checker thingy)universe.

    Anyway, I remember a time when I had a spotless house and was sooooooooo judgemental of other women, the ones who had children, wondering to myself why they were not able to keep a better house.


    I am lucky to even see my floor now days.

    Four kids, a very big dog and a nice, spoiled husband.

    I love you Lisa, better days are coming.

    If these employees don't get you, get new ones.

    Trust me on that one.


  4. Pick your battles wisely! I too have had to stop being the cleaner-upper of all life's little messes and no one else seems to notice that the messes are still there, much less pick them up themselves!

  5. Ah, change.  I'm sure I could google and find a witty truism, but I don't have time.  It's just darn hard for us humans.  My colleagues and I are coping with several big changes at work, but at least there's a lot of us sharing the boat.  My big-chain pharmacy has been bought out by another big-name chain and when I called the automated refill line today, that perky female voice had been replaced by a way too pompous deep male voice. I couldn't even get the time I wanted to pick up the prescription right after two tries...well, another change.  But while I was waiting in line (standing on those white feet placed the appropriate distance from the customer at the counter for privacy), everyone else was also complaining about THE CHANGE.  Unfortunately, you are the boss and really don't have anyone to commiserate with, except perhaps your BH.  So don't apologize for "another entry" about coping with the major changes you are going through.  We're here for you, Lisa!