All Kinds of Stuff

I spent the day furiously cleaning the house.  Working four fourteen-hour days in a row didn't give me any time to keep up with housekeeping.  I couldn't even keep it up to MY standards, which are not very high.  And I had a house full of people...two of my sisters had come up from Eugene to help me out at the Fair, and my sister Lauren had brought her two kids plus an extra along with her.  The house looked like crap the whole time, and I was embarrassed about it, but there was nothing I could do.  I was NOT going to drag myself home at midnight and short myself another couple of hours'sleep for the sake of my "Suzy Homemaker" status.  As it was, I was so sleep-deprived, I was barely functioning by Sunday evening.  I could have used a "day off" today, but I couldn't just sit here and look at the mess.

Whilst I was scrubbing, vacuuming, laundering, and straightening, a dozen ideas for journal entries popped in and out of my head.  I'm still too tired to delve into any subject at any intelligent length.  So I'll just spit a few random things out here for general consumption.

*I spent some time pondering "county fair politics."  I already related the tale of the strange Kerry philosophy.  There were other things that happened at the fair that really made me stop and think.  There was the annoying, high-pitched, nasal voice of the rodeo announcer, screeching after the singing of the national anthem to begin the show, "ARE YEW PRAAAWD TO BE UHN UHMAIRICUHN??!!!??"   I don't know why that makes my blood boil. I think it's because I truly believe that my feelings about my allegiance to my country---my "patriotism," if you will---are a very private and personal thing to me.  They are not something that I should need to wear on my sleeve, or scream about at public functions, in order to make them valid or acceptable.  It's something that's too important to treat like a football cheer.  And I shouldn't be made to feel like my love for my country is in doubt if I don't stand up at a rodeo and scream like an idiot about it.  And yet, I knew that if I was sitting in that crowd, people would be judging me, and finding me wanting, if I didn't.

*And speaking of judging, it was very strange, having people walk around with the "Bush/Cheney" or "Kerry/Edwards" stickers plastered on their persons.  I found myself thinking of the "Bush" people as the enemy, and the "Kerry" people as kindred spirits.  Where did THAT come from, and how can I get rid of it?  AND...though I hate to admit it, I was reluctant to express my own political affiliation  by wearing a "Kerry" button, because I was afraid it might have a deleterious affect on our already anemic business.  Talk about having the courage of your convictions! Or not...

*I got to meet Marcy, who lives in Hillsboro, which is the home of the Washington County Fairgrounds.  We had previously planned to meet several times, and I kept wimping out.  (This is how uncomfortable I am with social situations!)  Finally, Marcy took matters into her own hands and came to ME.  I cannot say how much I appreciated having her stop by.  She is SUCH a sweet person, and so is Rick, her husband.  I'm hoping that we will be able to get together again, in a month or so, after the nutsy part of my season is over with.  I'm sure we'll have fun together.  AND she brought me some of her great homemade soap.  Between my (stumbling)food concession business, and her budding soap conglomerate, we should be named the "AOL J-Land Entrepreneurs of the Year."  Or something. 

*I have to say an unqualified "Thank you" to Jackie  , my dear friend from down south about 120 miles.  She doesn't write LONG entries, but they are straight arrows, right to the point.  I was bitching about my relationship with my older sisters about two entries ago, and she came up with a quote that brought me up short and really made me think: "Of the Seven Deadly Sins, anger is possibly the most fun. To lick your wounds, to smack your lips over grievances long past, to roll over your tongue the prospect of bitter confrontations still to come, to savor to the last toothsome morsel both the pain you are given and the pain you are giving back-in many ways it is a feast fit for a king. The chief drawback is that what you are
wolfing down is yourself. The skeleton at the feast is you. - Frederick Buechner"

*Visiting Amy's journal, I became aware of a small controversy involving Kas of  Hestia Academy for Young Wild Women.  Apparently, some small-minded tight-asses on the journal message board decided to dis Kas's journal because of her "vulva" entries.  All I can say is, "Oh, go lay down!"  If you don't like the subject matter of a journal, don't read it.  I have found Kas's journal absolutely fascinating.  She is a living example of who I might have been if I had enough courage to actually LIVE the things I am passionate about.  If we are looking for cookie-cutter personalities that fit the mold of what we think a "proper" person should be, then maybe we shouldn't be wandering around in the world of journals, where people from all walks of life, all belief systems, all races, creeds, colors, and sexual orientations, share their takes on life.  To me, the journal community is a journey to expand my experience, not a search for others who conform to my ideas of propriety.  But, I guess, to each his (her) own...

Now, I suppose I should go to bed. I've gotten so used to this "four-hours-of-sleep-per-night" thing, that I'm really not tired.  Thinking of all the things I have to do tomorrow, though, I realize the thing to do is to TRY to hit the hay.  G'Night!