And So It Goes...

The death in the family has left me a little fragile around the edges. Yesterday afternoon, I got the card in the mail. The one that the veterinary office sends after they euthanize your pet. The condolence card.

"If we measure lives not in time but in grace,

in the joy with which they lived, and in the love

they leave behind, then we have much

to learn from our pets."

That was more than enough to start the tears flowing again…

I tried to start out the day today with a positive outlook. I didn’t have to be at the café until noon. Powered by three cups of coffee, undiluted by anything resembling solid food, I was able to crash through some housecleaning and organizing that has needed to be done since about…last September. I was feeling very accomplished…quite proud of myself, in fact. It appeared that things might just be looking up.

Until about 3:00 pm. At which time the caffeine buzz wore off. I realized that business was going to suck for the third day in a row. And I found out that my latest hire—with whom I have been extremely pleased—has accepted another job and will be all but unavailable to me after this week. Shit.

Last weekend, I looked at the business bank balance and realized that we had lost something like $6000 in the last two months.

And I can’t seem to beg, borrow or steal decent employees.

And my cat died.

This evening, I stood out on the sidewalk—in the dark, in the rain—looked up at the sky and said, "Could you just give me a break??

I don’t know who I was talking to…