Dizzy

This morning, I thought briefly about subject matter for my literary endeavors. I’m not one to go to some website looking for writing prompts. Stuff that other people think up and throw at me rarely challenges me to put forth my best effort. Don’t know why…just that ornery streak rearing its ugly head again.

It crossed my mind to write about exactly what I am experiencing right now: Stumbling through the rubble, trying to recreate my life. I thought about calling it something like “Rebuilding from Ground Zero.” Which would be a great metaphorical concept; except that the term “ground zero” has been co-opted by history, at least for now, to describe a very specific time and place. Who told them they could steal my metaphor?

The pictures that come to mind when I try to explain my current life situation all seem to involve rising up out of the ashes. All a bit too mundane and overworked, I’m afraid. Still, that’s what it feels like. But if I’m going to take this subject to a level that will make my experiences seem fresh and interesting, I’ll have to come up with another theme. I want to make this a real travelogue. I want to go somewhere wonderful with it, and I want to make it engaging enough that others will want to go along with me. So I suppose the first thing I need to figure out is, Where am I going?

The thing that keeps coming to mind is that I have a unique opportunity, here, to do almost whatever I want. Husband brings home the bacon, loves bringing home the bacon, cannot NOT bring home the bacon. He is simply not okay if he is not working (for someone else.) Fine! Doesn’t that free me to pursue…anything?

But of course, there’s a kink in the hose; I’ve already done THE thing that (I thought) I wanted to do most in the world. And it did not culminate in that ride-off-into-the-sunset moment. So whatever I decide to do now will be my Second Choice. And you know…I’m having a really hard time making that choice. The process being somewhat poisoned by the outcome of Choice #1. It never occurred to me that I would need a Back-up Lifelong Dream.

So, yes…I’ve decided to write about it. But—here we are, back at the starting point of our circular logic (I’m getting dizzy)—I need to have an “it” to write about. I’m writing about the journey…but where am I going?

Crazy, perhaps?