Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Onward and Outward

For the first time in many months, I’m allowing myself to get ever-so-guardedly stoked about something having to do with getting off my butt and making a living.
And it is NOT the Bird Shop job (I have not heard back from the guy, and I don’t expect to…)
Thinking about it long and hard, I had to allow that working for someone else, no matter how close the job might brush up against one of my passions, was simply a non-starter.  After all these years (the last time I punched a clock for someone else was 2004) there is just no way I could re-insert myself into that employer/employee dynamic.  I cannot see setting myself up to fail.  Again.
The out-of-the-blue job call-back did do me one favor, though.  It made me realize that I am done waiting around for the Universe to drop a livelihood in my lap.  I HAVE a livelihood—my concession business—which, luckily, I never abandoned. 
For the past twenty months, I’ve been trying to puzzle out a way to arrange my life around my spiritual direction.  I believe I’ve finally come to realize that is just not going to happen.  Yes, I’m an introspective sort of person.  But I am also a person who needs to be active.  If my body is not moving, everything freezes up.  I just go into stasis.  Completely.  Body, mind, creativity, emotions all just stop.  I have to make a life which includes spirituality, not make spirituality my life.  I’d make a terrible contemplative. 
Now is the time to prime the motor, rev it up and get it going forward.  It seems I am truly unable to function any other way. 


  1. The bird shop guy will probably take another 4 months to make up his mind....lol...

    in the meantime - you are moving onward and outward, so yay for you!

  2. You might be surprised at the number of contemplative orders that make their living feeding folks. Cheese, bread, fudge depending where you are. there's something very earthy about making good food. Especially bread, or yummy filled sandwiches. So, where will you be feeding folks this year?

  3. My first thought after reading this entry was "to thine own self, be true". A simple verse and probably overdone but so very apt in your case.

  4. Lisa,I've been meaning to tell you that I love your current header picture to your blog. They are always wonderful. I like the fact that I actually know what it is. Doesn't take much to make me happy:)