Four women have announced their candidacy for the 2020 Democratic presidential nomination. Considering what happened to Hillary Clinton in 2016, I admire their courage. I suspect, however, they are laboring under some delusions when it comes to how any woman who is not Hillary Clinton will be treated by American media, the traditional white male establishment, and the patriarchy-conditioned American public-at-large.
I think these women believe on some level that Mrs. Clinton
was the object of unique misogyny, due to her personal history and having been
married to a very public philanderer who also happened to be POTUS. If Kamala Harris, Amy Klobuchar, Kirsten Gillibrand and Liz Warren truly believe that they will be somehow immune from
attacks based upon their gender, they are in for a rude awakening. In fact, the opening salvos have already been
launched.
One particularly galling attack was directed toward Amy
Klobuchar, the thrice-elected senior senator from Minnesota. Now, I don’t know much about Klobuchar. I can even say I might never have heard of her
before she announced her candidacy. But
all I really need to know is that she is a woman, a woman who has been in one position
of power or another for more than thirty years. And I can know the tightrope she has been walking
for that entire time. Because I have
walked that same thin line. The line
every woman who aspires to managing other people walks Every. Damn. Day.
Apparently, some ex-employees chose to share their harsh
criticisms of Klobuchar’s management style with the press—anonymously, of
course. One can only wonder how much
they were compensated, and by whom, to share their horror stories of the bitch
boss from hell.
I had some go-‘rounds on social media about
this. The consensus seems to have sorted
out to, “NO ONE should treat employees like this. Klobuchar shouldn’t get a pass just because she’s
a woman.” To which my reaction was, “Are
you kidding? Not only will she NOT get a
pass, she’ll be called out by every person—male or female—who ever got anywhere
near her and had their nose nudged out of joint by something she did or
said. Because she’s a woman." And
because she’s a woman, there will be legions more folks going public with tales of "abuse" than there would ever be hiding in the shadows of a male manager’s career. Trust
me.
Following is my soliloquy on the subject, first written as a
FB comment on a friend’s posting about Klobuchar’s offenses. It was inspired by
the comments of a gay male friend of this friend who went on a bender about how
Klobuchar was a horrible person, and it wasn’t sexism to call her out on
mistreating people who worked for her.
Made me see a little red…
“I read an article the other day about “whitesplaining”
racism to black people. The same dynamic
occurs when men attempt to “mansplain” sexism to women. There is too much tendency for people who are
convicted by sensitive truths to change the narrative of a phenomenon that they
themselves have never and will never experience. In short, no man can or should EVER try to
explain, defend, downplay or deny sexism to ME.
Sorry, gents…you have absolutely NO IDEA what you’re talking about.
“As a woman who found herself in positions of responsibility
and/or authority several times during her working life, I can state without a
doubt that expectations of the behavior of female bosses are markedly different—and
markedly more ridiculous—than those of male bosses. Women are expected to be soft, measured,
empathetic, collaborative, and basically rule by committee. Any female whose attitude is, “This is what
needs to be done, and this is how we’re going to do it” is skewered as bitchy,
bossy, “unlikable”…choose your negative adjective. God forbid a woman, as a boss, just tell her staff what she wants them to
do, rather than asking politely if someone would please like to take on this
task. Are men held to this same kind of
standard? I think not. Being a woman in a position of authority is
not for the faint of heart. This
contributes greatly to the scarcity of women in executive roles in our business
world. Many very capable women just don’t
want to subject themselves to this ingrained double standard.
“Another phenomenon I encountered late in my career was that
employees became more and more demanding of “consideration” by authority
figures. By the time I closed my
restaurant, I was at my wit’s end with new employees just wanting to show up on
the job and do…whatever; who were deeply offended by anyone trying to actually
tell them what to do, whether it was myself or my more experienced staff members
who were assigned to train them. Imagine
being branded as an “abusive” boss just because you were attempting to train
staff and give them direction. My point
is, often times (and this seems to be happening more and more lately) employees
come into a job with very specific notions about how they think they should be
treated…especially if the boss is female.
Women are expected to be kind and soft and…gullible is the word that
comes to mind. We should not have high
standards or expectations, and we should accept any excuse if an employee can’t/chooses
not to perform. And if a non-performing
employee does quit or get fired, that ex-employee doesn’t take the blame for not
being able to deal with the culture of a workplace. Their inability to succeed will be because it
was a terrible job or the boss was a bitch.
“I don’t know what Amy Klobuchar is accused of doing/saying
to her staff that is considered “abusive.”
What I do know is that my hackles are raised any time a woman’s
management style is held under greater scrutiny and subjected to an entirely
different set of standards than her male counterparts. I suffered through that crap for decades, and
I WILL give the woman the benefit of the doubt every time, because I have been
there.”
So, Mesdames Harris, Klobuchar, Gillibrand, and Warren…
Hitch up your big-girl panties and grab a really big umbrella.
Because the shit is going to hit the fan, and it’s going to come
at you at 100 miles per hour.
We who have been there are right behind you.
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