About five minutes ago, I had this great revelation. Another reason to love this journal.
I realized, in all the 32 years I have been writing journals, that I turned to them when I needed to write. When I was troubled, or searching, or wrestling with demons. A very small percentage of my old writings are cheerful or uplifting. "Less than desperate" was about as high up on the cheer-o-meter as I ever got. Good times, times when I was happy or felt fulfilled, produced years-long gaps in my journals.
Now, with a place to write, where it feels more like writing letters to friends, I write about the good things. About the fun things. About the everyday things that make my life different from everyone else’s, yet underscore my kinship to other women, other writers, other dreamers. I write stuff that actually doesn’t send me back down into the emotional dumps when I go back and read it a few months down the road.
This is a new experience for me (relatively, since I’ve been doing this for almost a year, now.)
And, you know what? It’s NICE!
I could so relate. I stopped writing my own journals a few years ago because one night, I started reading them and go sooooooo depressed. It's true, I tended to write when I was unhappy and why bring back the unhappy memories! I dumped all but two of my old journals.....tore them up and they were gone. Today, is a new day! : )
ReplyDeleteThanks for an entry that I'm sure will help others realize that we humans tend to want to get out the negative which is fine, but we should get rid of what we wrote within a few days, so that we don't hang on to the not so good stuff.
Angela
I think that tends to happen when you keep persistently writing, Lisa. You're sharing some parts of yourself, and of course you aren't always depressed or unhappy. If you only write when you feel that way, then of course the results will seem biased. I'm glad that you feel so comfortable here. I enjoy getting to know you-- I mean the good and cheerful right along with the depressed. It seems very *real*, because nobody is to one extreme all the time. I enjoy "real" people most of all. :-)
ReplyDeleteDonna
Y'know this entry makes me glad I started a blog : )
ReplyDeleteI've noticed that too.
ReplyDeleteYea! I received an alert! I never thought about it before but you sure are right! I even notice that my personal journals are different too! Like collecting nuggets...gold nuggets
ReplyDeleteI love your journal too. I'm happy you are getting so much satisfaction out of journaling.
ReplyDeleteHence (and it took me a while to discover this distinction between paper and on-line journals) the reason some folks nickname these here blogs "glows".
ReplyDeletefunny you mention the "letters"-- exactly why I started my first one. I tackle almost every writing project as a letter, for one thing, but I started Argument because I just wasn't getting enough e-mail to suit me. I still love to write letters, but now, only on line where I don't have to spend postage and stationery-- and I pay that $20 bucks a month to AOL... gotta get my money's worth, ya know?
And how wonderful it is that you offer this journal of yours which is outstanding for us to share with you. Your knowledge, insight and, at times, brutal honesty is incredible. I tend to keep entries of mine on the up and up but we all have our down times. God forbid anyone should ever mistake me for a "Pollyanna" type which I am most definitely not! I think I'm too conscious of my readers; i.e., immediate family members, to be as subjective as I might like to be at times.
ReplyDeleteWhen I wrote journals in my teens, it seems I wrote of much misery and unhappiness regarding how I was evolving, etc. Once life began to pick up, there's nothing to read because I was too busy "living" to write about it. I regard these old journals that go back a good 37 to 38 years ago as treasures today. I find them quite amusing and absolutely amazing to reread what I thought was so very important so long ago.
I am so glad you write. I learn a lot from you.
ReplyDeleteIt is nice! My personal journals were much more depressing and boring. I feel like online journals are more a scrapbook/journal than just a log of what is going on in my life. :-) ---Robbie
ReplyDeleteYou're absolutely right. What a great thing to take note of.
ReplyDeleteYou're right ~ the online 'letters' to friends are nice!
ReplyDeleteDo people really write "cheerful and uplifting" entries in their personal (offline) journals? What a dreary thought. Where's the fun in THAT, pray tell? I write dreadful, self-indulgent pages, full of melancholy poetry and enigmatic sketches. In the end I feel much better and become almost human again.
And I don't have to mask any vulgarities... ;)
Lisa....this was an "Ah ha" moment for me. Thank you...I whole heartedly agree. When the forum is more public it seems to help us focus on at least some of the good times eh?
ReplyDeleteKinship....remarkable word.
Yes! This is why I write my journal.....I feel almost apologetic to myself, my journal and anyone who stops by if I do whine about something......because I like being positive.......reading back and having something nice to say........I started my journal to share photos and be grateful......I can whine elsewhere I thought.....I so relate to this entry you wrote......every word! I really enjoy your journal, I've read every entry on the main page, and I will be back! You are in my favorites now and I'll link ya to my blog next time I update the list (I'm being lazy right now, LOL) take care! thanks again for stopping by my blog so I could find yours!
ReplyDelete:-)
~jerseygirl
http://journals.aol.com/cneinhorn/WonderGirl