Decisions...

I don’t want to limit myself to the five minute timer…but I don’t know how much I’m going to be able to write before I pass out.

Scandi went great. Better than expected, and infinitely more. We showed a 23% increase over last year. $21,250 and change vs $17, 333 last year. I suppose that doesn’t mean much to anyone who hasn’t been intimately involved with a business that lives and dies by the numbers…but those are good numbers. I am proud. I am happy, and I am tired. But, I went into the whole thing tired. So this is nothing new. And, though it’s nearly midnight, I had to log in here to report my success. To…whomever. Anybody out there who might care. I’m sure there are one or two of you who do….J

And…today, I cast an exhausted yet somewhat renewed eye back upon the café, and made a few "executive decisions." Let me preface this by reporting that, while we were having a beyond excellent weekend at the Scandinavian Festival, the café was struggling through another weekend of spotty, anemic business. I don’t really want to speculate about the reasons for the café’s recent tailspin. But I did have one "a-ha moment" over the weekend: I decided that if I was going to fail, I wanted to fail with my own concept, and not someone else’s. So, all of Mr. Previous Owner’s warnings about not changing anything lest I alienate the (meager) regular customer base are going into the circular file.

I’m going to make this café mine. From the menu to the crew to the décor…it’s going to be the restaurant I’ve always envisioned. That way, if I fail, I will know it was MY concept that was crap. I’m not really interested in finding out if I can make someone else’s idea of a restaurant successful. Is this risky? Damned straight. Anytime you invest that much of yourself into something…anytime you put your heart and soul into a dream, it’s going to hurt all that much more if you fall flat on your face Nothing good ever comes without taking some kind of risk. I’m older now…wiser. I’ve soared through success, I’ve wallowed through loss. Enough to know that, whatever happens, I’ll survive. And to know that victory is all that much sweeter when yourisk everything to achieve it.

So I hired four people today. Did this weird, mass-interview thing. I’m sure the four of them had never quite been in this kind of interview before. I’m not sure I knew what the hell I was doing, suffering as I am from extreme stress and sleep-deprivation. But if I know nothing else, I know it’s time to re-invent the place, starting today. Bring in people who will see me as the boss. Who don’t know about our landlord-cum-former-owner. Who will look to me for inspiration, direction, and discipline. Lucky members of the old crew will observe and learn. Unlucky ones will be out pounding the pavement for another job within a matter of weeks, if not sooner.

I told my husband, I’m trusting the Universe to send me what I need. So far, It has been remarkably cooperative. Day by day, I discover little things, little blessings, that I don’t deserve and don’t expect, raining down on me…just to remind me that there is a higher power that might possibly care, might possibly want to allow me to succeed… I need that success; I so need that affirmation right now. And Someone knows that…

My internet connection has been extremely wonky this evening. In fact, I see that I’m going to have to go mess around with it before I’ll be able to post this entry. But, I just wanted to give anyone who cares a little update on what’s going on with me. Please continue to float positive energy my way. I can use it more than you can possibly know.