Saturday, November 14, 2009

Fifteen and Fourteen...Not So Much

Many years ago, we had a cat who, during a year of particular stress, expressed his impotent rage over his inability to control his environment by pulling every hair he could reach out of his body. For months, he was completely bald, except for his head.

My parents had a dog who experienced a similar reaction to stress. She would sit in the corner on her pillow and chew on her own front paw…for hours. Chew until it bled. Leaving a chronic raw, oozing wound.

After a few days like the last two, I come home and sit and literally do not know what to do with myself. There is no thought process, no re-planning and re-working, no letting it go, no figuring it out…nothing. There is nothing. Except the urgent need to do something, and no idea what it is.

It finally occurred to me last night…

That I just need to go sit in the corner and chew on my arm.

Until it bleeds.


  1. I like your idea of posting about something you're thankful for every day until Thanksgiving. And I like your idea of at least acting like you really want to be at the cafe whether it's true of not. There's nothing worse than an employer or boss who is in a bad mood and wants to bring everyone down. It's just such a shame that reality always has to intrude on such plans such with a hard kick to the head. I wish I could give you some better advice than just "hang in there," but it's all I've got. I don't envy what you're trying to accomplish -- running a small business in this economy -- but I hope things start going better for you soon.

  2. Whoa -- that one sentence didn't make much sense at all with the superfluous "such" thrown in.