Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Good Morning

It was foggy this morning. Foggy, cold and damp. The world seemed a physical weight, pressing me down into the depths of my soul. Depths which contain deep pools of anger, fear, resentment and hopelessness. The pools have always been there, I suppose. But my journey of the last five years has deepened and overflowed them.

I don’t want to go down there. It frightens me. I want to believe that purposeful rest and a drastic change of routine will cause those pools to shrink and recede. This morning’s grayness had me spiraling downward. I held my nose and prepared to dive; sat down at the computer to compose an essay of the drowning soul. I stared for a long time at the screen, the blinking cursor, and wrote…nothing. My trembling hand could not soil that pristine whiteness with even one maudlin letter.

So I exited the blank “Word” page, sighed and called up a game of solitaire.

It was a hard one. It looked like one of those that was going to take me an hour of “ctrl+z” to solve. I sighed again. I so did not want to fool around with an endless game of solitaire this morning...

But wait… A couple of smooth moves cracked the puzzle of the “hopeless” solitaire game, and I wrapped it up in a matter of minutes. I win!

And in the meantime, the sun came out. The sky is bright blue. Like the miserable gray fog never existed.

1 comment:

  1. When I went out to feed Amber at the crack of dawn this morning, the sky was clear, the stars were just beginning to fade. She ate, I went back to my nice, warm cocoon and got up for the day just before seven. Good by clear sky hello fog. Which is just burning off. Yay!!