Friday, January 25, 2013

Out of the Blue


So, out of the blue I get a call back on a resume I emailed out four months ago. 

Hard to know how to feel about this, how to act on it.

The Universe finally got me to concede that perhaps a job—any job—is NOT what I need to be pursuing right now.  I cannot forget how slowly “idleness” burned in my Solstice fire.  I truly felt that the Almighty was telling me that it was not just okay that I had nothing to “do”, but that is was actually specifically prescribed for me.  Kind of like, “Don’t DO anything right now.  I’ll let you know when I have something for you to do.

Is this it? 

The job is with a company called “Backyard Bird Shops.”  It’s a small string of local Portland-area stores that deals in birding paraphernalia, conducts birding outings, pretty much concerns itself with all things birder.  It is NOT food and it does pertain to what has brought me most of the joy I’ve experienced in the past twenty months.  It definitely has something going for it.

Of course, I have only done one telephone interview, and I was not inclined to get all geared up and try to say All The Right Things.  I wasn’t a jerk or anything…but I was not going out of my way to impress.  (That rarely ends well, anyway…)  I was just ME having a conversation with someone I don’t know about birding and health insurance and commutes in the PDX metro area.

I admit:  I’m confused.  I had thought the Universe just wanted me to hang tight for a while longer.  But something in the out-of-the-blueness of this indicated that it was probably something the Universe wanted me to pursue.  It will probably come to nothing—I imagine I’ll never hear from the guy again.  But I made the call, and now we’ll just have to see what happens.

The thing that bugs me about this is, I’m starting to feel like the folks in my old, long-ago Pentecostal church.  The ones who wouldn’t make a move without “making sure” it was what God wanted them to do.  (This usually meant that if they really loved the idea, or desired it beyond reason, then it was what God wanted for them.)  And the ones who had to dissect every event in their lives to determine what God wanted them to learn from it, or what God wanted them to tell other people THEY should learn from it.

I need to get out of this mode.  I need to quit starting and stopping, dodging sideways and hanging back, hesitating and second-guessing.

I need to just walk.  And trust.

It’s hard.  It’s still hard.     

5 comments:

  1. Well, I don't know - but from here it just seems possible that this is a calling from the Universe directly to you...of course you'll know more if you get called back again. Sounds like a fabulous kind of job, though.

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  2. I must agree with Robin, AND with Terri. I think this would be exactly you. We'll see where the universe goes with it. I will stay tuned.

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  3. It sounds like it could be just what you've been waiting for.

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  4. I don't know if this is something God wants you to do but I do think it's something you might want to do and truly enjoy at the same time. I'll be interested to read about the outcome of this possible venture.

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