Three counties in the state of Oregon have been designated areas of high spread of COVID. Douglas (Roseburg), Jackson (Medford)—with population centers in the reddest of red areas of the state. And…Lane. That’s right. Good old Eugene-Springfield. My own back yard.
Here in Lane County, we
combine deep red with indigo blue. Here reside some of the most rabid, anti-mask, anti-vax Trumpers in the state--irritated to such radicalism,
one would suppose, by being forced to live in close proximity to the very, very blue
community headed by the University of Oregon. Yes, the state university...where they practice all that librul
indoctrination stuff; and where they additionally entice countries from all
over the globe to send their athletes, their money and their COVID to spread among
the general population. We are doubly cursed.
The Oregonian states that “People
in those areas [of “high risk”] should wear masks in public indoor settings, according
to the Centers for Disease Control.”
I wear my mask. I have never stopped wearing my mask. I have laid in a supply of N95 masks, which I will probably continue to wear in public for the foreseeable future.
But I am here to tell you that, regardless of CDC recommendations, the good citizens of Lane County are DONE with COVID in general, and wearing masks in particular.
We went to a business meeting last week, and we were the ONLY folks in the room wearing masks. When I walk into any store, I am usually the only person within my sight line so attired. Yes, I HATE wearing the mask. It is annoying, it’s uncomfortable, and the pressure on my jaw joints can sometimes trigger a jolly migraine. But it’s not going to kill me to wear a mask…while I STILL don’t know what effect a COVID infection might have on my abused old body. So…I’ll choose the mask, thank you very much.
My supply of trusty N95’s has given me the confidence to venture out into public more than I have for over 2 years. I’m almost to the point where I go out as much as I did pre-pandemic. Though I still have no intention of eating indoors at a restaurant any time soon (maybe ever), I’ve indulged in plenty of shopping—at garage sales, resale shops, home centers and grocery stores. For the most part, these have all been positive experiences…except for the grocery stores.
Once upon a time, I would pull into the parking lot at Safeway, eye the prime parking spots designated for grocery pick-up, and scoff, “Who is so lazy that they even can’t go in and shop for their own groceries?” After 2 years of pandemic protocol, I know with absolute certainty the answer to that question: Me. I am that customer.
And it’s not so much that I’m lazy. It’s that the entire experience of shopping for groceries is riddled with annoyances. Track down a shopping cart that never seems to be present at the entrance you choose. Navigate the obstacle course of oblivious, stupid, or downright rude other shoppers who don’t realize or don’t care that they’re not the only shoppers in the store.
Try to unravel the mystery of what the actual prices are, dependent upon whether you do or do not possess the cherished membership card of whatever store you are in.
Stand in a checkout line that never moves because the person in the front of the line is busy arguing with the checker about prices and coupons, or the checker is busy providing a chatty social experience for every customer. Try the self-checkout line, only to have it freeze up at the slightest provocation, and then stand and twiddle your thumbs while “help is on the way.”
I never realized how much I DETEST shopping for groceries until COVID-19 showed me that I could completely eliminate that arduous chore from my life and not starve to death. And the idea that an N95 mask now magically enables me to indulge in an activity I clearly loathe holds no appeal whatsoever.
So…you see that lady sitting in her car in one of those cherished close-in parking spots, waiting for someone to bring out her groceries and load them in the back of her tiny SUV? That is me. And I don’t feel one iota of bad about it. In fact, I’m giddy with delight. I grin ear-to-ear all the way home.
If nothing else, COVID has shown me what is worth risking for, and what is not. Even if it’s not actually my health that I’m risking, but only my sanity. So there is indeed a silver lining in every cloud, I guess.
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