How do I explain Columbia County to people who live in places where there are actually...people? Just under 44,000 souls inhabit the entire county. Cattle, horses, sheep, and llamas probably outnumber the people by about 5 to 1. So when we decided to go to a dance at the Columbia County Fairgrounds (home of the Columbia County Fair and Rodeo) I'm sure I wasn't expecting an evening at the Ritz. When I donned my silly sexy shoes and velvet skirt and sequined top, I knew there was a chance that I might be a tad overdressed.
When we drove up, other attendees were jumping down from their 4 x 4's, wearing their cleanest jeans and cowboy boots. Some of the more decked-out women had velvet or glitter on their tee-shirts. You could tell a man was really out to impress if he had worn his leather jacket instead of his denim.
The evening had been touted as "A Taste of Columbia County." The county's best restaurants were to be represented, serving gourmet tidbits. Well, let's see, one table featured five boxes of cold pizza from Scappoose's premier pizza parlor. Our local three-star family restaurant offered five crock-pots full of luke-warm soup, served in pink paper cups. There was cold Mexican food, more cold pizza, a guy trying to cook "gourmet" sausages on a George Foreman grill...
So there I sat, trying to look inconspicuous (wrapped in my gold satin shawl), sipping champagne from a plastic "Jack Daniels" cup and gnawing on a barbecued rib that was like chewing on my dog's rawhide bone. (Hey, the champagne was Korbel, they charged $2 for that big honkin' glass...it went a long way toward easing my discomfort about my wardrobe choice.)
The band. Um...the lead singer wore...a yellow leisure suit jacket? LOUD, and the acoustics were so bad, conversation was impossible. Dancing? I don't think so. Not in those shoes. We finished eating…and hit the door. Went to a bar, had a quiet glass of wine, and talked (now that we could.) Then home. And that was when the evening really picked up...
You paint a good picture. I can see this was an event not to be missed. LOL.
ReplyDeleteLOVE the shoes. What a riot that must have been. I would have spent the majority of my night knocking back anything alcoholic. Oh, and I am Anna of Cleves too...
ReplyDeleteI'm sitting here giggling like crazy. I've been to enough events like that to share your joy. Life in a rural area is just different, and a good sense of humor is an absolute survival skill. Oh, those shoes are more Ann Boleyn than Anne of Cleaves!
ReplyDeleteThanks for a great laugh! I can just see it. I grew up in a little town that would consider an event like this high brow! I'll bet you felt like you were living a bad dream. Just got to hit the Korbel hard...and laugh!
ReplyDeleteThis is a wonderfully told story! Thank you for sharing it...it made me giggle. Here is Pasco they think that The Olive Garden is fine dining and the ladies get all dolled up. We go in our sweats. We stand out.
ReplyDeleteGood for you, trying to bring a little sophistication into their denim and sweat shirted lives! And kudos on getting the hell out of dodge as soon as you did, thus salvaging the evening... sounds like it did "really pick up".... hmnn...musta been those shoes... ;)
ReplyDelete