This morning, I found myself waxing philosophical about some of the aol journallers, as if they were people I KNOW. This one and her husband, some other one worried about her kids doing so-and-so... Like they were actually my friends. And it occurred to me, that I DO know these women, probably better than I have known many people I've called "friends" in my life. (It's kind of pitiful, because journals constitute 95% of my social life at the moment.) I'm afraid I'm assigning a little more emotional weight to my "relationship" with other journallers than is intended.
Reading Angela's (readmereadyou) farewell (for now) entry the other day, I started thinking that perhaps I needed to follow her in that direction. Back gracefully away from the journal scene and "get a life." That old spectre that has always kept me from getting too close to anyone---the fear of looking foolish---is raising its head, howling and flailing at me. But, I don't know....how can caring for people be bad, even if they don't know or care? There are worse ways to invest one's emotional energy, I think.
So, please forgive me if I leave comments that seem like I'm taking for granted a relationship that doesn't exist. I like you ladies. I find you interesting. You inspire me, you make me laugh, you bring tears to my eyes... Sometimes you make me want to don my super-heroine suit and fly through the phone wires to come to your aid. Sometimes you dry my tears and stiffen my backbone. Is it all right if I keep thinking of you as my friends?