Friday, November 3, 2006

I AM Happy... Really!

I knew that if I kept whining about how tired I was and how my new enterprise seems to be getting the better of me, my readership would turn their backs on me.

I’m sorry, my friends. My foray into major entrepreneurship has proven to be a challenge of the highest order. But, you know, day by day by day, I see myself making progress, if only incrementally. Having victory, if only over minutiae.

A few months ago, I was drowning.  I began to seriously question my abilities as a cook, a manager…a human being. Today, four months into the challenge, I have regrouped somewhat. I realize now what I hadn’t the patience to figure out back then: that I had to learn the routine first, before I could fix it. I had to put in several hundred hours of "just doing it" before I could make it mine and take it to the next level. These days, I find myself alternately awash in the old doubts, and recognizing that these tiny baby steps I take each day really are moving me forward.

This morning, I sat in an inconspicuous place in the restaurant, watching it fill up with breakfasters and lingering morning coffee drinkers. The noise level rose, a cheerful sound to me, regardless of what any of the myriad conversations might actually have been about. I couldn’t stifle my smile…couldn’t help thinking, "What a nice, comfy, welcoming place to be, here on this nasty November Oregon morning. And it’s mine." It hardly bears believing.

So, lest you all think me ungrateful for this marvelous opportunity I have been given, lest you think I am such a hopelessly negative person that not even the fulfillment of this lifelong dream could make me happy… Just know that I am grateful. And happy. And desperately tired, and a trifle overmatched. Maybe not completely loving it yet…but definitely getting there.

9 comments:

  1. My back is not turned.  I'm here with open arms to exclaim...."I'm so happy for you!"

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  2. Three cheers for Lisa. Hip Hip Hooray.

    Jackie

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  3. I am so pleased for you ~ it must be wonderful to have come so far and now to be "Happy in the fulfillment of your lifetime dream" ~ Ally

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  4. BRAVA!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  5. The joys of 'owning your own'.  Sitting and reflecting from a new vantage point is  always a good idea.  The different view helps to keep things in perspective.  I knew you were happy.  Fulfilling a lifelong dream is darned hard work and changes that significantly affect your life.  But it doesn't make you totally negative or unhappy.  It's makes you tired and worn out and wondering.  But still happy!  

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  6. Just checking in with you after some time, and glad to hear you are settling in a bit more each day...what a great feeling to sit in the midst of it all and realize that you have rovided comfort with hot coffee for so many!  Where are you in Oregon?  I have family there...Salem, mostly but they branch out all over the state.  Jae

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  7. So I pop out of J-land for a few months, and I pop back in...and...YOU'VE STARTED A RESTAURANT??!!  CONGRATULATIONS!  You sly dog you.  What an adventure. I know how owning a business (or starting a new job) can pretty much take over your life.  It's like you've given birth to a child...you have to nurture it (him/her) every second and no one else can really do that but you.  I can just imagine the cheerful noises in your morning cafe. It sounds charming.

    Laura

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  8. I read this several days ago...on bloglines, but I must comment now...

    Good!!!!

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  9. Hey, Lisa ...... Don't know about you, but I was absolutely sure that this venture would turn out to be a positive thing for you in the end.  I'm sure that you are exhausted and overwhelmed and frustrated at times, but what a good feeling to know that you are actually DOING it !  Congrats, my friend.  Tina

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