Are some things best left in the past? Is the past really the past…when it comes to our families?
I’ve heard people say that they have done with their families. That their families are dead to them. Too many hurts, too many misunderstandings, too much estrangement. Apparently, sometimes it’s just not possible to weather the assaults our families launch against us. And launch they will…
How many times have I said this…I have been there and I have done that. Fortunately for me, the Universe will not let me turn my back on my family. Though god knows, there are times I have wanted to. And needed to.
But there is an old adage that time heals all wounds. Heals? I don’t know. All I know is, despite all the crap and the harping and the hurts and the indignities (and who can hurt us worse than those who know us best?) you need to be able to step back and let the past slide into the past. You need to be able to say, “This is now, and this is what I need, and I can’t care about who hurt whom and who said what, one or five or ten years ago.”
I only know that my family is my family and I can’t help but love them. Can’t turn my back. Can’t walk away. Can’t go off on my own. Because they are a part of me I can’t erase.
Tonight, I sat in my living room and enjoyed a pleasant evening talking and joking with a sister with whom, not too long ago, I had despaired of ever being able to exchange three civil words in a row. When we at last retired to our separate bedrooms, and I turned on my computer, there waiting for me was a message from a niece I thought I had lost forever.
Hurt? Never? Lost?
Words that, I have found, have little meaning when applied to those of my blood.
We love each other. We really have no say in the matter.
Yes.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful, serene words dear friend wrought with so much truth. (Hugs)Indigo
ReplyDeleteI'm sitting here smiling, reading this, because I've been thinking of writing a post about my relationship with my baby brother. Nevermind that he's 55 years old...he will always be my baby brother, and these days, we usually talk for a couple of hours every Friday night, a talk I look forward to all week, and this still amazes me, because for many years we hardly talked at all.
ReplyDeleteGood post.
Judi
Love has nothing to do with blood or family to me (I'm adopted) but family is all anyway! Love them regardless, and some probably should be discarded but they are family! We used to say "time heals all wounds but also wounds all heels!" Dannelle
ReplyDelete