Looking for a Home

 

I joined Twitter in 2017, because I was desperate to make some noise in the direction of Cheeto Jesus.  Some feverish delusion led me to believe that someone higher up the political food chain than the White House doorman would see my tweets and they would make a difference.  Somewhere. 

Yeah, right.  Me and 50 million other disillusioned, desperate Americans.

In June of 2019, I had finally had my fill of Facebook, Mark Zuckerburg and his megalomaniacal view of his “responsibility” (or not) for the havoc his platform was wreaking world-wide, and especially in Trump’s America.  I deactivated my Facebook account.  Closed the door and walked away.  And I’ve stayed away for going on two years.  Going back over old journal posts, I see I had actually been contemplating the move for years before finally pulling the plug.

Now that Trump has been pushed aside, and there is arguably more about the US government to be hopeful about than to (impotently) rage against, I feel it’s time to take a serious look at my social media presence.

I’ve been on Twitter for a little over 3 years.  It’s a cesspool.  But it doesn’t present itself as anything other than a cesspool.  Which has been part of my defense for staying with it as long as I have.  At least it’s honestly a cesspool.  Facebook, on the other hand, presents itself as some kind of warm, fuzzy place of welcome; a fertile ground for building communities of friendly people with shared history or like interests.  That FB makes the most money off, and therefore encourages, communities of warring, polarized political factions is not something they choose to advertise.  Nor officially acknowledge at all, as far as I can see.  Facebook is the classic wolf in sheep’s clothing.  It is founded upon fundamental dishonesty.

With the election of Joe Biden and the changing of the guard in Washington, I feel like my work is done, as far as throwing stick pins at the colossal  juggernaut of fascism that loomed over us for four years.  I’m faced with the question, where in the world of social media does an exhausted invisible political warrior go for positive connection with welcoming people?     

Twitter?  After about 30 hours of calm, Twitter is already crackling with combative political wrangling and snarky commentary.  I’m sick to death of it.  I guess I don’t want to pretend it doesn’t exist…I just don’t want to be a part of it right now.  Or maybe ever again.

Facebook?  I did briefly consider going back to Facebook.  Whatever else it was, it WAS a point of connection with some of my old internet friends with whom I’ve not connected since I left.  But then I went back and read my old “Coming to Terms…” posts, dating back to when I first considered  leaving FB.   And I realized the community I “belonged” to was already disintegrating when I left.  It’s one of the reasons I left.  There’s no guarantee there would be anything to go back to…in fact, following the direction things were going two years ago, I think it would be safe to assume there’s nothing left of my connections on Facebook.   So, why would I sidestep my very real moral objections to Facebook’s “mission” to go back to…nothing?

Nope.  Cross out that option.

So that leaves me…  Right here.  In the relative calm and quiet of my own little corner of the internet.  It occurs to me that there is no “community” here.  I’m basically talking to myself. 

But I also realize the concept of “community” on the internet is largely an illusion.  For me, anyway.  Did I belong to a community on Twitter?  Hell, no.  I did a lot of “talking,” in the middle of a very crowded room.  But nobody really heard, and certainly no one, in three years, ever connected with me on a level deeper than a passing, “Hey! I heard that!” And Facebook basically chewed me up and spit me out.  So there’s no community there for me either.

Coming to Terms.  Calm.  Quiet.  A little lonely.  But mine.

I think this is where I’ll set up camp.  I’ve become pretty good at being on my own.  Maybe just being on the outside for awhile is exactly what I need right now.