Saturday, February 28, 2004

My Friends

Just got back from a short road trip with the husband, to explore a possible venue for my business.   Over the last two days, I've spent seven plus hours one on one with one other human.  I tend to get chatty during these trips, on a myriad of topics--ancient and recent.  We explore all aspects of his job.  (I give him advice that he ignores...  But I figure, if he wants to talk about it, I'm entitled to an opinion.)  I bring up old old OLD stuff, like old girlfriends (boyfriends) and our parents' reactions to our marriage.  I CAN go on...

This morning, I found myself waxing philosophical about some of the aol journallers, as if they were people I KNOW.  This one and her husband, some other one worried about her kids doing so-and-so...  Like they were actually my friends.  And it occurred to me, that I DO know these women, probably better than I have known many people I've called "friends" in my life.  (It's kind of pitiful, because journals constitute 95% of my social life at the moment.)  I'm afraid I'm assigning a little more emotional weight to my "relationship" with other journallers than is intended.

Reading Angela's (readmereadyou) farewell (for now) entry the other day, I started thinking that perhaps I needed to follow her in that direction.  Back gracefully away from the journal scene and "get a life."  That old spectre that has always kept me from getting too close to anyone---the fear of looking foolish---is raising its head, howling and flailing at me.  But, I don't know....how can caring for people be bad, even if they don't know or care?  There are worse ways to invest one's emotional energy, I think.  

So, please forgive me if I leave comments that seem like I'm taking for granted a relationship that doesn't exist.   I like you ladies.  I find you interesting.  You inspire me, you make me laugh, you bring tears to my eyes...  Sometimes you make me want to don my super-heroine suit and fly through the phone wires to come to your aid.  Sometimes you dry my tears and stiffen my backbone.  Is it all right if I keep thinking of you as my friends? 

10 comments:

  1. I would love for you to think of me as a friend, and I want the same privilege with you! Your last paragraph is so on target. It feels like there's a connection here even if we neer meet.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Absolutely. I feel the same way. I think it's hard NOT to care about the people you read about every day or so. Like a cyber-family, if we need a term!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. One of my dearest friends is a woman named Donna, but I know her as Beagleblue...I have pictures of her, her deceased dogs and her deceased husband. We met online when both of us were losing mates to pancreatic cancer. We have shared and grown.

    I have NEVER met her in real life and yet, she is my friend.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Friends definitely, friendship is communication and time- both spent and used here, geography is of no consequence. Feel free to call me 'friend'. Kristi

    ReplyDelete
  5. Don't stop commenting. I love your comments in my journal I check my journal several times a day to see who has commented. I think the therapeutic value of our journals is incredible and part of that comes form the connectedness we experience. I value what you have to say.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Any comment you ever leave is always thoughtful, supportive, and laden with care. If you find friendship, fellowship, and a few kindred spirits along the way, there's nothing wrong with that.
    Thanks for being there for us all and for wanting to be.
    ~RC~

    ReplyDelete
  7. ok friend.....where are you?

    ReplyDelete
  8. LISA!!! I have done the same thing...talked of journalers as if they are friends. And I've decided that they are! No, I don't think there's anything wrong with being emotionally invested in people who you enjoy reading about, and who enjoy reading about you. You, and others have been SO wonderful to me...I know what we share is real. A true caring interest as a friend. {{{{{{{{ }}}}}}}
    :) Kat

    ReplyDelete
  9. Well, I certainly hope that you count me as one of your friends, because I like to think of you as one of mine! The hubs & I have those same conversations! It's an odd aspect of these journals that it's possible to strike up a conversation with total strangers that feel as genuine & intimate as any in the 'real' world of physical proximity. It's like being 'pen pals', only with a lot more pals. Still, its important to remember ~ Live first, write later. We'll be here. Carpe diem! ...:)

    ReplyDelete
  10. Oh I was hoping to see your DREAM LIFE SCRIPT Let me know when you have it posted. It was so much fun for me to write I just hope I don't turn into a pathalogical liar now!

    ReplyDelete