Closing the (Face)Book on a Chapter of My Life

So I’ve gone and done it. 

I deactivated my Facebook account. 

I don’t know why I had never seriously entertained the notion before.  I’ve been less than impressed with FB for a long time.  But the addiction to that online connection made it impossible for me to even consider living without it.  Or that living without it might even be a good thing.

Online connection has been a vital part of my life for almost 16 years.  I discovered infant social media in 2003, at a time when I was desperate for connection to ANYONE.  When I look at the whole experience in my rearview mirror, I realize that it was only during maybe the first five of those years that the connection was real and strong and vital, challenging and alive.  The rest of the time has been spent wondering what happened to the connection, and trying every which way to get it back. 

After the demise of AOL J-land, Facebook seemed the place where everybody went.  So I went there, too.  And rode the gradual metamorphosis of social media from what it was to what it is now.  Unfortunately, I have been all too willing to cling to the aspects that most closely resembled the cherished early days of innocent, intense internet interactions.  It took me a loooong time to finally understand that those days, and those interactions, are gone for good and all.  What’s left is the shells of those relationships disappeared under the heaps of mundanity and inanity we now “share” with our internet “friends”—who are not really that (friends) anymore. 

But it was only in the past few months that the Universe started giving me signs that Facebook was no longer a place for me to be.  When “friends” and pages began to delete conversations I had been part of, or at the very least, my comments from a thread, I realized I no longer had a place in that community….or, I no longer had a community in that place.  I had to seriously examine my presence there.

And then, there was the Nancy Pelosi video.  The straw that broke the camel’s back.  The video is purposely altered to make the Speaker of the House appear drunk, or somehow altered/incompetent.  And was introduced to and perpetuated on social media by none other than our illustrious toddler-in-chief.

When pressed on the subject by ACTUAL news media, Facebook representatives claimed the video would not be banned, and that FB would allow people to “make up their own minds.”

Facebook knows, anybody with a brain knows, certainly the masterminds of the right wing propaganda machine know, that social media have invited—forced, even—way too many people to do WAAAY t0o much “making up their own minds.”  So much so that FB is now easily weaponized by any entity—politician, preacher, criminal, enemy-of-the-state—wishing to attack or destroy someone or something.  Yes, Facebook is primarily a weapon.  A weapon that no one knows how to control, but everyone knows how to manipulate.  An extremely lethal weapon, dropped into the hands of anyone with an internet connection and a keyboard.

And because there is a goldmine of money involved in the trafficking of this weapon, insignificant details like its threat to human life, society and the survival of our nation are sidestepped, downplayed and ignored. 

This was when I realized I couldn’t be a part of it anymore.  Any more than I can be a part of “religious” practices that are no more than codified ways to control large populations of humans beings through fear and violence.  Power in the hands of the few to control the many.  

When I stated my intention to leave Facebook, I was told that one person leaving was not going to make any difference to FB…was not going to inspire them to change their policies and clean up their act.  I agree…it will not.

But my decision isn’t about that.  It’s about standing up for what I believe.  It’s about being able to look at myself in the mirror and know that I have not compromised my beliefs, not lowered my standards; that I will not go on sidestepping and excusing inexcusable policy because refusing to do so might cause me to let go of something I have held on to so hard for so long.  Something that, when you take a close look at it, is not worth holding on to quite that hard, nor for any longer than...yesterday.  

I won't say it wasn't a difficult step to take...I know there are folks I "met" 16 years ago on AOL journals that I will probably never hear from again.  People that have been a part of my life; people that I have cared about.  That is hard...that makes me sad.  But, in the end, I think it was time to make that move. 

So, yeah…this is only my second day without Facebook.  And I’m already noticing how much more time I have.  I’ve been wondering lately why I never seem to have enough time to get all the things done I need to do.  I thought it was a function of growing older and slower.  But, no…  It appears that wasting one or two or three hours every day "checking in" on social media definitely puts a dent in one’s productivity. 

I have WAY too much to do right now to waste time dicking around on the internet.  And now, I have a couple more hours a day to accomplish the real life things that need doing.

So I’d say, so far, this is a win.  We'll see how it goes from here on.