I Don't Know What Got Into Me...

Precisely what I did not need right now was another haircut from hell. I don’t know what possessed me to walk through the door of a salon the other day. I have been dancing on the edge of insanity with everything that’s been going on, and I felt the need to go out and do something just for me. And my hair has been driving me crazy. Still, I know much better than to think I’ll get any kind of a positive jolt from a haircut. There is not a human being on earth, apparently, who speaks my dialect of English when it comes to understanding what I want them to do with my hair.

I very carefully explained to this stylist that the last four haircuts I’ve received have been from hell. I very carefully explained (I thought) what I wanted her to do. We talked about how the "longer in the front" thing that is so popular these days has been tried, and it just does not work with my hair. We discussed how I just needed it trimmed to collar length in the back, and then layered away from my face in the front. L-A-Y-E-R-E-D. She had no concept of the technique whatsoever. I realize it is not exactly fashionable in the world of the "do" these days. In fact, it’s a decidedly eighties style. But, as I tried to tell Ms. Stylist, I’ve lived with this hair for almost 51 years, and I think I know by now what works and what doesn’t.

And I could have excused her if she had been some young thing who hadn’t even been born yet when I first had my hair styled in a layered cut. But this babe was every bit as old as me; I’m sure she must at least have some memory of the concept.

She was physically unable to do what I told her to do with the front of my hair. I kept telling her, "It needs to be layered away from my face so that you can see my ears." She would pick up the piece of hair, snip off another sixteenth of an inch, put it down and say, "Like that?" Augh! I SO wanted to grab the shears out of her hand and just hack into my own hair. Finally I just told her, "Fine. I’ll go home and dry it and it will be just fine. Thank you." When I got home and tried to style it, I looked like the Little Dutch Boy.

So this morning, I grabbed my best sewing shears, and...hacked into my own hair. It doesn’t look any better. But it doesn’t look any worse. All I can say is, it’s a good thing that most of the professional styles these days look like the models have attacked their own heads with a dull dagger. It makes my current haircut look all the more fashion forward.